Reasons Ladies Remain in Abusive Relationships and the Way Out.

There are more abusive relationships that we are aware of because people live pretentious lives or what Fela meant as 'smiling and suffering.' A man being abusive is not just by beating up his woman. There are worst injuries inflicted through other means of abuse which could be emotional/mental/psychological. This has driven some women to psychiatric homes,  yet they still return back to that relationship.'Have you ever felt the need to strangle a loved one until she realizes that relationship will either kill her or she'll become a killer herself?' Everyone sees how wrong she's being treated, except her. Or she does but too helpless to walk away. The question then is why?

FEAR: Fear of the unknown; what tomorrow will bring; which is a better choice? the what if or what if not questions that she can't seems to find answers to. Especially if the lady is completely dependent on the man for survival. Or her definition of who she is; is based on the man's standing. She can't see any other way of breaking free because fear has held her bound. There are also single ladies that have been in  relationships for 7,8,9.....and still counting years, yet no marriage proposal and constantly being abused. Even the man cheats and throws it on her face. Oh yes! situations when she goes to visit him and meets some other girl who tends to 'claim ground' as a Warri lad will say, just hasn't happened once but on several cases. And if she doesn't play nice; she'll not only be inflicted with the physical injury but emotional ones of being valueless. Yet! when the man comes to say 'I'm sorry, she's back in his arms.' Again fear of not being seen worthy by someone else creeps in. Afterall, she got into the relationship when she was sweet 16 and now she's 32years old Mary Amaka.

SHAME: There are people that are ready to die in silence  than seek for help by sharing whatever pain they're going through, not even with God servants because of shame. Where will I start from? becomes a nagging question. Especially in a situation whereby she was warned not to go into the relationship in the first place. Shame of being mocked will hold them bound. Not knowing all they need to do is reach out for help. because if they don't; one of three things may happen. She'll either commit suicide/murder or the man will commit manslaughter. Sadly, the incident may not be viewed as such.

BLACKMAIL: The worse form of blackmail an individual will ever experience is self-blackmail. She says to herself "I'm the mother of his children; I can't let my children live without a fatherly figure." She forgets to ask herself why the  man isn't thinking of her as the mother of his children when he needs to be abusive. And of course the Lord forbids divorce or she'll have to remain unmarried for the rest of herself. That's quite too long a time to be without a man. But being sane and alive to care for one's children is a better cry than remaining in an abusive relationship. And the issue will be insurmountable if there's something she actually needs to hide and the husband is having access to such information. Again she's held bound.

JAZZ/JUJU: As much as I would have loved to shy away from this, I can't help but recognize the potency of our(Africans) traditional roots. Afterall, the white man that brought the gospel of Christ to us didn't have parents who danced Igbe, served oluku, carry masquerade, juju priests and the likes of it. As much as the Gospel is spreading, there are still individuals who returns to such idolatry means to cast spell on people and manipulate their destiny. So, either the man has being spiritually bound to be abusive or the woman is bound to be abused.

LOVE: Love knows no grudge, how much more to hold one. I believe that's why people say; 'love is blind.' It'll interest you to know, in some cases when you try to mingle in such relationship, you'll become the enemy. It doesn't matter if she's your sister or a dear friend.

THE WAY OUT
There is only one way out known to me and that's; seeking help from GOD, who will either lead you to a trustworthy person that can help you or lead such a man to you. By now as a child of God you should know; what ever happens in the physical has been settled in the spiritual realm. And if you choose to fight a battle blind folded by leaning on your strength/worldly energy, you'll end up being a closed case long before the battle begins. One might say; must everything be about God. Well, yes! It begins and ends with Him.

Whatever a psychiatric/counsellor will say to you can't be of any lasting help, if God isn't helping you. If you need to get out of troubles in life, you need to get in with God on the same page. Let Him take away your pain and settle you on every side, He has said; come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. (Matthew 11:28-29). I know this may not be easy, especially with everything falling apart but He has promised; Behold, I will do a new thing; now it shall spring forth; shall ye not know it? I will even make a way in the wilderness, and rivers in the desert (Isaiah 43:19). Especially for every single lady thinking they've lost their ability to attract a man because of age, you should know; its not your doing or making but God. He has said; The LORD of hosts hath sworn, saying, Surely as I have thought, so shall it come to pass; and as I have purposed, so shall it stand:(Isaiah 14:24) and for spiritual manipulation, the Lord's promise still abideth; Surely there is no enchantment against Jacob, neither is there any divination against Israel: according to this time it shall be said of Jacob and of Israel, What hath God wrought! (Numbers 23:23). Have a fruit bearing day. 

 Photo Source: Google.
Cheers!