What Happens When You Choose not to be Your Own Person?

Okay so I was on my own on Saturday, minding my own business in the salon where I went to fix my hair and I met this really friendly girl and we chatted for a bit and I went back to minding my own business.  About an hour later a friend of hers came by and then I just couldn’t help but notice how she criticized everything this girl did, she started by saying “what type of hairstyle is this?” she criticized her friend based on her own standards, I couldn’t help but notice how she ended every statement with “like my own.” Please where can I ‘charge’ my I-Phone?” She asked speaking a little too loud; obviously, she wanted us to know about her little gadget. After awhile, she started been generous with her criticism as every hair in the salon wasn’t up to her standard, obviously ‘poor township’ folks like us knew nothing about fashion.

Then she decided to bring her high handiness my direction, Jesu! “shuo! Your hair is a virgin hair, why not relax it, or is it a church thing?” Now on a normal day I try to be nice to people but not today and not to ‘Miss busy body.’ I looked this girl who could barely construct a sentence intelligently and told her “It’s not a church thing I just don’t want chemicals on my hair” She looked at me like I was from another planet and said “Na wa o!.Obviously my natural hair information was too much for her pea sized brain to interpret. 

Truth be told, we have all had friends like this, friends who believe their way is the best way, you never look beautiful till you dress like them, you never talk smart till you think like them and your vision is nonsense till it aligns with theirs. Friends who want to put you in your place because they see something in you that you are too blind or too afraid to see, because somewhere in your heart you believe that their friendship validates you, like you feel like they are doing you a favour being friends with you. They make you feel like you have a problem that they are helping you fix. Here is something  you don’t know, friends like that are insecure and the only way they can feel good about themselves is when they put people down, believe that by making people feel small they can actually be bigger. These people actually need you more than you need them. Basically and be confident to be your person.