Saturday, April 09, 2016

Saturday's Jest: Bobito and Chikito Avenue Episode 2

Saturday's Jest:  Bobito and Chikito Avenue Episode 2  In-Laws Visit. 
This story is centred on an avenue jest Bobito; the brick layer and Chikito; the young and rich banker. Both are neighbours, Bobito who’s an Urhobo lives in the boy’s quarter and Chikito a Yoruba lady occupies one of the 4 flats. They actually nicknamed each other because of their quarrelsome nature. They hardly agree on anything. But as neighbours, they barely could avoid each other, especially when they both need a favour. 

Chikito had successfully made Bobito to make a fool of himself when he asked Chikito to teach him how to ask a lady of his interest out for a date in our previous episode. And he had vowed to get back at her.
After weeks of waiting, the opportunity finally presented itself when Chikito needed him to teach her how to say ‘I am really happy to finally have met you’ in Urhobo. Of course she will have to explain it in pidgin English for Bobito’s understanding.
Chikito had found herself in this situation because her fiancĂ©, Onos had finally decided to take her to visit his family for the first time. And she wanted to impress them by expressing her joy in their local language ‘urhobo’ hence her refusal to ask Onos to teach her. Onos had already taught her how to kneel and greet by saying ‘migwo’ which means ‘I am on my knees’.
Bobito asked her why should he teach her after the way she made him humiliate himself the last time he needed help from her? Chikito decided to placate him with N2000.
Chikito: So, how do I tell them ‘I dey very happy to see una in your language naa?’
Bobito: (all smiles) omo vwe oniadar, ome vwe koriebe. Oya talk am slowly.
Chikito repeated the word but was not getting them correctly. She decided to record Bobito voice and practice at her convenient and pace.
The day arrived and they travelled. On getting to their destination, apart from the parents, few other relatives were around. She humbly greeted everyone ‘migwo’ not minding if she’s older or not.
Onos Mother: my daughter vrendo, I see my son is teaching you well.
Chikito: yes ma.... omo vwe oniade, ome vwe koriebe (she said enthusiastically).
The smile died on everyone face
Onos Mother: what are saying young lady? (She asked with slightly raised voice)
Chikito: (wondering if they didn’t hear her clearly the first time, she repeated the words slowly) omo vwe oniadar, ome vwe koriebe.
Onos mothers: (shocked) something is wrong with this girl, I thought she doesn’t understand Urhobo Onos?
Onos  gently took Chikito aside before his mother will let hell loose on her long before he is able to explain whatever might be the situation. Although he already had his suspicion.
Onos: Do you know what you just said to my family?
Chikito: (with confident she replied) Yes, I thought it’ll make them happy.
Onos: Hmm! Tell me in English what you think you just said
Chikito: I am really happy to finally have met you.
Onos: No that’s not what you said
Chikito: Really?
Onos: Yes
Chikito: So, what did  I say?
Onos: (clears throat to keep the bubbles of laughter back at his woman confused and expectant look). You said, 'your son is a witch and I am crazy.'
Chikito: (screamed)  Jesus, Bobito wants to ruin me
She ran to Onos mother apologising profusely as everyone began to laugh at her obvious distress as Onos explains how she obviously have been deceived by her neighbour.
PS: I pray your weekend ends well. And do remember I care. Cheers!

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