Ladies and Gentlemen: What to do if you still love and want your partner that no longer wants you.

People quit relationships for different reasons. Sometimes, it could be of mutual concept but if it is not, one person will be left heartbroken. Being heartbroken could be so intense that it creates health challenges that will make the individual spend time in the hospital, commit suicide or murder. The pain could be as real as having a knife pierced into a person’s heart.

Honey, if you have not felt this way, you must count yourself luck. I thought people are too extra when they complain of heart break, especially when I think of the metaphorical use of the word. However, I realised it was no child’s play when I experienced it in 2016. Anyway, I didn’t find myself in the hospital, thank God for degrees and a job in counselling/psychology. The skills had to come into play but that didn’t make it any less hurtful. I was just able to get over it and keep living.

So, if you are one that still love and want the person walking out of your life to stay in it, you must:

Know when to stop apologising: This applies to those that did wrong their partner and  are truly sorry for it. It is good to apologise but you must know when to stop. I learned that people could easily get more infuriated when you keep apologising. They could turn the table around by making you look like a pest. They do this because, you have not given them the time to process the whole situation, to come to terms with their feelings and to discover if they will be able to forgive. Not just forgive but forget too.

Do not ask why: This is applicable when you have done nothing wrong you can think of, you are expected to ask questions. But honey, do not because he or she may likely not tell you the truth but look for flimsy excuse of a reason or even tell lies on you. So, you have to become a detective and rely strongly on your instinct. Keep a smile on your face and tell him/her “okay, if that’s what you want” even when you are at war within. One of two things will happen; guilt will push the person to speak or anger will. They will become the ones asking you if you do not want to know why. When either happen, you are more likely to hear the truth and know how to make amend.

Become a better you: Heart break is difficult to deal with when you have nothing outside of yourself to focus on. That is why some people encourage others to jump into another relationship to help them heal. Okay, when you are quick to jump into another ship, pray it does not sink because your likelihood of survival will be very thin. Hence, take this time to work on things you have not had time to do. Go back to school if you have to, get a job if you have none, and just work on you being better.

Quiet a long epistle already, so let’s make this part 1. However, you should know that you might not get your partner back after trying to but you would have learned to survive in the process and realise heartbreak should not bring out the worse in you but the best.

Much love from me to you. Cheers!